In The Name of ALLAH The Almighty
Familiarity breeds contempt or admiration?
It is said that when someone sees the same people each day, they
are started to be taken for granted. And because we are consciously
or sub consciously aware of this saying our behavior seem like so
to us and to them as well. But in reality these people become a
part of that person’s life. One becomes as accustomed to their
every day presence and availability as is to oneself. Thus having
knowledge about one another’s interest, dislike, weakness, strength
and peculiarity of character is evident. This state of well knowing
somebody is termed as ‘familiarity’.
finding themselves in the above mentioned state are familiar.
Setting aside contempt or admiration grows out of this familiarity
,the initial lines of this piece claim that being part of one’s
life is derived from familiarity , that is seeming not strange or
unusual when you are accepted as normal or when you accept someone
as normal, is the outcome of familiarity. To make the statement
further clear, acceptance of someone as part of your life demands
first being familiar with that person. Considering this claim as
true I would proceed towards the main points of my discussion.
As the proverb goes, ‘familiarity breeds contempt’, we cannot
altogether neglect the truth in this saying which is recognized
through centuries of experimentation and experience of generation.
Its originators have based their opinion on the fact that despite
the long held relationship there comes such moments when you wish
to have never known the other completely, when you wish to have
maintained your initial impression of the person in question. And
in this way despite your acceptance of the person as part of your
life you start regretting and very much want to detach yourself
from the relation.
There can be scores of reasons
behind losing admiration and respect for someone familiar. Let me
put here that parents are exception, for our familiarity with them
is very deep rooted. The only face we see after our very birth is
that of them. If despite this some parents lose respect of their
children for some reason or other, I dare say it may be in very
rare cases. It is very possible that the person turns out to be the
opposite of what you thought of him or her. You may find someone
bad tempered in the course of time or irritating or notorious or
simply boring. You may want the other to behave in a certain way
but you find yourself in dismay because the other is peculiar and
individual in action out of nature.
Familiarity may reveal the real face of both the parties’ genuine
behavior, attitude which they initially have glossed to impress
upon the other, or if without one’s own attempt one succeed in
winning the other’s favor, still there are very possibilities of
his or her growing stale too, for the desire of something new,
fresh, exciting and new is in the very vein of human nature.
Thus in such situations time passes, you remain together with the
only feeling and respect for the association there exist, with
memories of your once nice thought and with regrets for your once
But it will be a serious
injustice with some natures if we admit the above mentioned facts
as the ultimate truth. In fact there is always the other side of a
picture. To be more lucid, there are instances of admiration and
respect nourishing as familiarity grows. So diverse is the creation
of Almighty that no single soul’s attributes are shared by another,
yet all are human and live under the same one sky.
So different are human natures that one maintains the same
qualities till the end. Neither misery can bring frown on their
face nor do riches turn their heads. Along with their consistent
outlook, their nature won’t permit them to think that every day is
like every other day rather they try to strike a different note
each day, with the result that feelings other than contempt start
to spring for them. Through their impressive behavior and
achievements, their resilience, loyalty, compromising nature and
above all their sense of acknowledging relations, they win value,
respect and admiration in their credit.
familiarity breeds contempt in case of shallow characters’
association with one another, when none of the party has the
patience to tolerate the other, when none has the feeling for their
good old days when they were nice with one another at least in
By Nasira Jabeen